Category Archives: Ouch That Hurt

A Mother’s Day Orphan

In our world we celebrate holidays often. Usually those are days set aside to celebrate, eat, fellowship and  give special recognition. Some days celebrate a person, others a religion, others are just days set aside to celebrate a significant occurrence. Whatever the day and whatever the reason it gives us so much joy to celebrate. Honestly in such a troubling world these special days set aside are truly needed.

Years ago I happened upon a conversation. Someone I have known and respected all my life was in a serious discussion with another person. I quickly realized they were discussing a very touchy subject. They were discussing Mother’s Day. One person was excited and looking forward to it. The other was angry, offended and wanting no part of it. I sat quietly and listened.

I was a young mother and I was excited that God had blessed me with children. I had been blessed with a wonderful mother. I had also been blessed to meet 3 of my great-grandmothers and my 2 grandmothers. I was surrounded by mothers. I had been born into unbeknownst to me a blessed life with many  types of mothers. I had taken for granted that I had done something rare. I had gotten the privilege of meeting both my parents mothers and their mothers. At this particular time I still had my own mother.

One of the women in the conversation was very upset and had recently lost her mother. She was very hurt and justifiably still grieving. The other still had her mother and was simply excited to have the opportunity to celebrate mothers. Well the grieving woman looked her square in the eye and said “ I don’t give a damn about anyone else’s mother. My Mother is dead and I don’t want any part of celebrating Mothers! How dare you all want to celebrate Mother’s.” I must admit I was shocked to hear this coming from this person. She was the one always keeping everyone else together. She was the strong one. She was the one guaranteed to be calm, cool and collected.

The other woman just stood in amazement. You could see the hurt, disbelief and shock of the words from the other woman. She calmly replied “ I am sorry. I was not trying to make you feel bad about not having your mother. I know we have always been responsible for the programs celebrating mothers. I didn’t forget that you lost your mother. I am just so used to us doing things for mothers. I am sorry, I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you.” She dropped her head and walked off slowly.

The grieving woman began to cry and walked away in the opposite direction. I stood standing there with a whole new perspective on Mother’s Day Celebrations. I began to sincerely contemplate discussions with other people concerning things as they pertained to whether that person still had a living mother. But I also walked away thinking that I never wanted to punish another person for still having their mother. If I ever were to lose my mother I prayed that the Lord would not allow me to hate folks for still having their mother.

Years later I did in fact lose my mother. I lost her to the dreaded disease called cancer. Let  me correct myself right now. I lost my mother’s earthly body to cancer but her spirit is still alive and thriving up in heaven. Earth’s loss of her human body and presence was heaven’s gain for her to be received there and live forever. If I trust and believe in the promises of both God and Jesus I have truly lost nothing. She has just gone on before me to an extended vacation.

I will not lie. I have days when the thought of my mother not being here destroys me in seconds. Others days I walk in the light, laughter and love of her memories. Some days I encounter people that complain and whine about doing things for their mother. I quickly let them know I think they are truly “stuck on stupid” and I warn them that one day they shall wish she would pick up the phone and call them or even get on their nerves. When I encounter people who are primary caregivers for their now aging and ailing mothers, I try to strengthen and renew them with words of encouragement. I have been a caregiver of a mother and it’s not easy watching the deterioration of the health of one’s beloved mother. I pray for my friends that are caregivers of their mother’s often. I know those are big shoes in which some walk daily with their Mothers. Not having a mother will truly hurt you. But I will never hate someone for still having their mother. Have I ever asked God why some people still have their mothers? Yes I have on more than one occasion asked God that very question. His most clearest reply was “ she had taught you all that she needed to teach you. It was her season to come on home and claim her mansion.”

Mother’s Day for people who no longer have their mothers…… the day the world unintentionally helps to remind them that they are now orphans. To lose one’s mother is like being dropped off in the middle of a busy city street,  on a planet you don’t know, completely naked. I mean bare to the bone. You have absolutely no emotional covering and you are suddenly paralyzed and numb. All of your weaknesses, insecurities and greatest fears are suddenly brought to the forefront. You are abandoned and suddenly frightfully alone. You are officially and certifiably now an orphan.

So this Mother’s Day might I suggest that those that still have a Mom celebrate celebrate celebrate! Those that no longer have your Mom cry if you must. If going to bed is what you feel will work you have every right to do that. If you happen to be a mother try celebrating with your children. Whatever you must do to get through this day……You do what you MUST! No one here on earth has the right to judge you.

Blessings Upon Blessings


God Forgive Me For The Box

God Forgive Me For The Box

As I lay in my bed flipping through my social media account. I realized something. I have often questioned things even within the Bible. There have been times when people have been mistreated, beaten down and made to feel ashamed as a result of people pounding them over the head with the Bible. I have sat and watched the tears of an unwed mother made to feel horrible because of the conception of a child. I have watched gay people sit in church pews in tears and fear listening to a preacher preach the threat of hell’s fire upon them. I have watched gifted women be told they can’t speak in churches when they have clearly possessed an anointed Godly gift or talent. I have witnessed women destroy other women for their choice of abortion ……..sadly they did not realize that I knew that they had actually had an abortion. I see mothers and fathers on social media bashing one’s right to abortion not realizing that some in this world know their secret of paying for their daughter’s abortions. There are men that preach from the pulpit that have actually borrowed money from family members in their past to pay for a girlfriend’s abortion. They believe their secrets are safe. If only we would all simply walk in our own truth. Our world would be so much better for it.

Sadly I remember my very own sins and I am humbled by God’s forgiveness. By sins I mean times that I have done things wrong and been convicted by my own heart, soul and mind. To me those are actual sins. We know our actions are wrong but we do them anyway. God has granted all of us a spirit of discernment but we rarely use it. By discernment I mean the perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding. What I mean is we know we are wrong before we even do it.

Honestly who are we to determine what a sin actually is? We are not God. We only know the Nature of God. His compassion, mercy, kindness, willingness to listen, willingness to bless, willingness to protect us and a willingness to convict us when we are wrong. Anything other than that we rely on the words of the Bible that were written by man. We must never trust any man or woman to lead us to the promise land. We must depend solely on God to let us all in. Do not get me wrong I feel that the Bible has some great guidelines in it…. but I feel it is up to each individual to seek their own personal guidance.

How could we ever honestly think we know all there is to know about God. God is prodigious. Meaning He is remarkably or impressively great in extent, size, or degree. All one needs to do is step outside and look up at the sky and see the greatest example of prodigious. Take a walk on the beach and attempt to find the end of the ocean. I dare you to attempt to count the waves as they come in. I triple dog dare you to attempt to count the grains of sand. Listen to me people God is bigger than we think.

Only a Massive God could ever create such diversity of races of men and women. Only a Huge God could create all the different plants and animals that dwell upon this land. Only an Immense God could have the power to allow us to breath as our hearts continue beating. Only a Mammoth God could supply so much mercy and forgiveness for all the wrong we do to each other fighting one another from day to day.

God has blessed me so many times I honestly am ashamed to admit it. I am not worthy of this vast amount of love, kindness, compassion and provision. God has protected and loved me more than sometimes my heart can stand. I know there is a God and as I write this blog I can feel Him. God wants us to recognize that He determines our sins. He knows the truth about us all. He wants us to love one another and to show compassion for one another. He wants us to take Him out of the box and use His example of love to  embrace every human being.

We know right from wrong. We are convicted within ourselves sometimes on a daily basis. We must learn to help, support and offer provisions to one another the same way God provides those things to us on a moment to moment basis. Why do we think people do not have a right to have all the blessings that we in the moment are having. We have jobs, homes, healthcare, love, fresh air, clean water, safe neighborhoods and free will to make our own choices. Take people out of your boxes and allow them to live. Whether you agree or disagree it is simply not your choice to make laws governing what people man nor woman can do with their bodies. You are not the maker of either so how about we let God govern that part of living.

God forgive me for the audacity to have ever placed you in a box inside my small mind. Forgive me for ever limiting you to the Bible. For this morning I realize that I have yet to climb out of my own box and experience the fullness and greatness of the Almighty God. Help me to take the lid off of my life God and climb right out of this box. God is bigger than we all think people. Why not chose today to take Him out and enjoy the fullness of God. I promise you will not regret it. Attempt to stop judging the lives of others and get busy enjoying yours. God is waiting for your attention. I sincerely believe He wants to bless you. Honestly what size box have you placed God in?

Blessings Upon Blessings

What’s In Your Silo?


Earlier this week I was traveling in the car with my husband. Just as we were coming towards the railroad tracks the arms suddenly came down. Much to my hubby’s dissatisfaction a very slow moving train was about to come through town. I mean it was just sputtering along. I sat there amused at how the typical Mr. Cool’s blood pressure was quickly headed for a climb.

I turned to gaze out my passenger window and I noticed the concrete silos that sat across the field right before the entrance to our small rural town. I remember thinking to myself “man that thing has been here for such a long time.” I began to try and remember a time that it wasn’t present in our town. I quickly realized that it had been here in this exact place since I was a child.

I began to appreciate it’s durability and it’s enormous size. I began to imagine what could it possibly be holding on it’s inside. I had to giggle a little because I recalled one day driving by the town silo with my kids. I remembered pausing for the train and listening to my teenage sons giggling about a childhood lie. My oldest son had told his younger siblings years ago that giant chocolate swiss rolls were stored inside. Oh the joys of childhood imaginations when going on country road rides.

I quickly came back to reality and realized the train was indeed slow and traffic was building quickly behind. For some reason I felt drawn back to the vision that lay to my right. The huge silos off to my side. For some reason on this particular day those silos seem to glisten and seemed so very bright. Those silos had been on earth as long as I had. I began to think about my soul and I imagined it as a silo. I began to think “oh through the years what on earth had I stored inside”. Joys, pains, frustrations, anger, disappointments, judgements, love, fragments of scripture and most importantly a belief in God. I quickly thought to myself “Oh Dear Lord what is possibly buried that I might not remember that I perhaps had chosen to hide.” I just sat in the stopped car staring across the field beginning to truly search what I may have inside.

Finally the train ended and we proceeded on our ride. As we drove down the rural winding roads the picture of the silo was still on my mind. I started to think of all the times I held things in my heart that probably were not pleasing to God. I started to think of the good things that were growing inside. Patience rather than sudden rage. Compassion for those mistreated because of their gender and race. Sudden calls to action when no one would take on a troubling situation. I begin to truly search my soul. I decide I would take some time to biblically search for some justification for some of the beliefs stored deep within my soul. So for the last few nights I have gone to bed earlier and taken the time to open my bible and ponder a few beliefs  that I held in my soul.

Well today I knew I had a meeting and knew several things would be discussed so I took a moment to consult with God. I said a quick prayer before entering the building and asked God to come in with me and for Him to help me maintain control. Well halfway through my meeting documents were handed out and low and behold it was the exact things I had be praying about all week long. As I read through the documents I became nauseated and my head began to swoon. A productive and lively conversation soon ensued. I tried desperately to control my tongue and control my eyes from performing their traditional roll. I listened and I prayed. I listened and I prayed. I asked a few questions for clarity and I finally let God take hold. I finished my meeting and people quickly disbursed and I gathered my notebook and boldly stepped forward. I spoke to the wonderful person in charge and I told her my dilemma. She listened passionately and took my hands. She understood and respected my position and she told me her own dilemma in this particular situation. I explained to her that my  God’s Silo was too big for my head and heart to comprehend. I told her that I had been lead to Romans 2:1 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”( NIV ) I could not in good faith sign on for this journey because I needed to stay off of judgement lane and tend to my own Silo. After a couple of hugs and a few tears I was on my way. My heart seemed so much lighter in the end. I made sure to drive home right past the old silos and I thanked them for the precious gift of bringing me back to a spirit of discernment.  I ask you today my friends to take a moment when you get a chance……..take a deep long look into your own Silo because I think you will be surprised all that you are carrying around and what you can learn from it. If I am truly trying to help someone in need  judging them should be my last concern.

Blessings Upon Blessings

Repairing A Broken World…..Why Not? It’s Free!


Just watching the news or reading the paper can be so depressing these days. People are mean and they take what they want. If lying and stealing affords you success and prestige then people do it as easily as they breath. By any means necessary seems to be the going thing.

The greatest gift that we have ever received was the birth of Jesus Christ. He came with the Good News that Salvation is Free. Yet we received two more very powerful gifts that the World truly needs.

The gifts of Compassion to Pray For one another. The second being Kindness that can be distributed without a cost to fellow human beings. Yet we as a people simply just cannot seem to bring ourselves to share these things.

A better world begins with You and Me. Perhaps today we can change things by giving away the Divine Gifts God allowed us to receive for free. A kind smile, a hug, a pat on the back or a simple prayer can make a world of difference for our friends and family. Let’s make the world a better place by beginning with you and me. It will not cost us a THING!!

The World as we know it does not have to continue to be this ugly. Let us bring ourselves up out of this mess and begin REBUILDING. We can make a difference. Why not? We are blessed with the necessary gifts.  Heck It Is FREE!

Blessings My Friends Blessings