All posts by whyevewhy2016

Heavenly Holding Pattern


Heavenly Holding Pattern

Of all the days to desperately need some basic necessities, I would procrastinate until today. Not only is it cold outside, but rainy and dark as well. So after staring out the window for awhile I resolved to acknowledge that the grocery list would replenish itself. I had to go out into the nasty mess. So I grabbed my baseball cap, my rain jacket, a pair of earrings and my car keys and went out to dance with mother nature.

Often times I hop into my car and I pause a moment to determine what type of music my day and ride are calling for.  On days when my heart and soul are light, I go all in with hip hop or old skool R&B. But there are those days when I am either extremely focused or my heart and soul are somewhat heavy,for those times a gospel CD tends to be the perfect selection. So for this dreary day I made the decision to listen to Christian singer and  recording artist Anthony Evans.

As I backed out my driveway I quickly decided I would just skip a few ot the songs of whom which their lyrics were more familiar. I landed on one of my favorites titled “Ask.” As I traveled the short distance to the grocery store I began singing along with my stereo system. The song basically tells you to ask and it will be given, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open to you. Honestly the song sounds so simple yet as I drove once again the lyrics became so appropriate for the moment. 

I began asking God about a situation that for me simply has not been resolved. I am determined to be patient because I have talked to God about this situation so many times. So many times that often times it has left me in total frustration. Not the least bit angry but all the more anxious for an answer. Just longing for a sense of direction. I parked my car, grabbed my grocery list and walked into the store while being grateful for a lighter drizzle.

The entire time I was in the store I just seemed to go down the aisles that offered the most sugar. Maybe not for any of you but for me this often happens. I found myself constantly remembering things that we needed that were of course on the opposite side of the aisle in which I was visiting. Finally I made it through the checkout line and into the parking lot. Not even noticing that the rain had stopped for the moment. As I walked toward my car I noticed the familiar faces and we shouted greetings back and forth across the parking lot. I thought to myself as I popped the trunk, “ You have such a witty sense of humor God. How appropriate it is that I would see those particular people at this particular time.” I loaded my groceries as it began to drizzle again and returned my grocery cart.

As I started my car my stereo picked up right where it left off and I continued my thoughts towards waiting on some much needed answers from God. I cherished the words from the song and tried so desperately to pin them all to my heart. I resolved to just wait again on God.

Well as I began to silently scream at myself for buying so many groceries when no one was home to help me carry them all into the house. As I stepped back onto my porch and headed for my car, I heard a rare, loud and very heavy yet familiar sound. I looked up  into the sky, but I couldn’t see it for all the heavy clouds. I definitely knew the sound. Somewhere up above me a plane was apparently very close by. As I continued to unload my groceries I could still hear the sound of the plane and I found it at first odd. But then a scene from a few weeks ago flashed very vibrantly before my eyes. I remembered my husband and I’s flight home a few weeks ago from California. I remembered a plane full of hundreds of people all tired of a long flight full of delays just ready to land and go home. The computer screen against the wall in front,  said we were over Charlotte but clearly we weren’t landing because I am quite familiar with the preparatory sounds of a plane about to land on the ground. I noticed as the minutes ticked by, all we continued to hear was the constant humming sound of the huge engines outside. Yet the display still read we were over Charlotte but we were still not heading towards the ground. 

Then it hit me… the answer that I had been praying for from God was not yet revealed, but I now had the answer to why not. You see, just like a plane, sometimes the things we need, desire or want answers from God are not being withheld. It’s just that sometimes where He is planning to land us is not ready for us at this particular time. Sometimes we have to wait for those preparing the place for us to finish their work on the ground. Sometimes those on the plane with us or traveling into the next season with us, whether it be the pilots of flight attendants, may not have their things in place yet for us to safely land on the ground.  If we land before they are ready, it could be a disaster for us in the air, as well as for those on the ground. Sometimes God puts us in a holding pattern, not necessarily for us, but for those around us and that lay before us. Everything must happen in His perfect time. Maybe some onboard our plane, destined for the next season aren’t ready yet. They haven’t put up their carts and secured their baggage for landing. Perhaps some on the ground in which we are destined to land, haven’t yet set their ears to the frequency of God. Perhaps the air traffic controllers (angels) of our lives recognize that maybe someone destined to meet us in our new season is unfortunately lagging behind. In all things we must simply exercise patience, humbleness, focus and bring to our remembrance the beautiful yet awesome promises of God. 

So, as I wait for the final answer from God, I will graciously and humbly simply reply…” Yes, I am still trusting You God! I shall respectfully continue to wait in Your Heavenly Holding Pattern.” There is no better place to be than in the Hands of the God Almighty. For the Bible clearly advises us that “But those that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

Blessing Upon Blessings

Secrets of a Beautiful Flower

I struggled to pull out my laptop tonight. I find myself watching another day of news cycles in which men are being accused and sentenced for sexual assault of women. I turn away from my tv and pull up my social media page. I see post after post concerning the events of the past few days. A Supreme Court Nominee accused of inappropriate conduct towards various women. I also see political and racial post concerning an African American TV Icon in handcuffs being whisked away towards prison for sexual assault of women. My head is suddenly spinning and I feel somewhat nauseated. I find myself feeling angry and frustrated because I honestly don’t believe people get it. Sexual assault is crippling, life altering and it goes on a lot more often than most people probably think.

I can honestly say for every 10 women I know at least 2 of them have been sexual assaulted. I know this for a fact because so many have confided in me. I know daughters assaulted by the fathers. I know nieces assaulted by Uncles. I know sisters assaulted by brothers. I know women that as youth were assaulted by church members. I know women that were sexually assaulted by boyfriends, classmates and even husbands. I know women that have been raped and sexually assaulted by complete strangers. The fact that I know so many victims is what’s so nauseating to me.

People are so eager to discredit victims when they find the courage to speak. I have asked everyone that has confided in me why they remained silent about such things. Some said they simply thought no one would believe them. Some said they felt their family would hold it against them. Some said they never spoke up because they were scared and truly frightened.  Some shared that they felt loved ones would blame them for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Some have shared that the assaulters had painted a sharp picture that they had asked for such awful unwanted attention. Some admitted that they felt it happened to everyone and they must simply silently deal with it. A handful of my friends openly admitted that because of the  mistakes that they had made in their lives, they felt people would discredit them.  All of these are reasons why most victims will not come forward after a horrific sexual assaults.

If all of this isn’t awful enough the majority of the above mentioned victim’s self esteem, relationships, parenting skills, mental health  and social skills have been notably affected. They appear as beautiful, blossoming, vibrant and healthy flowers on the outside. Yet their roots hold dark secrets that suck the nourishment from their petals of a normal life. To the naked eye they are immaculate, strong, full of life. But their leaves of life’s accomplishments and struggles can barely protect or support  the beautiful blossoms of wholeness and peace for them. Take a closer look at those around you sometimes. You may notice a withered leaf of quietness, awkwardness, hesitation or perhaps unexplained anger every once in awhile. Most sexual assault victims handle life as an aggressive explosive fighter or a docile subservient mouse of a person. They are all beautiful flowers that hold awful heartbreaking secrets and they believe that there isn’t a soul on earth able to deliver them from their horrible nightmares. Their lives are a facade “an outward appearance that is maintained to conceal a less pleasant or creditable reality.”

What you may find more interesting is that I know of several men that have quietly suffered with the secret of being sexually assaulted victims. What is so shocking is that as young boys or young men they were actually assaulted by older women. Of every case that I have been made aware of those women were left by victims parents to care and watch over them. None of these men have ever shared their secrets with their parents. A few said they felt it was perhaps a natural thing. Others felt their fathers would laugh at them. Others felt their mothers would never believe a relative or friend would do such a thing. These men have carried this brokenness into adulthood and become spouses and parents. Like women they too have balled up into their beds at night and cried themselves to sleep. Afraid to tell the world that they were mistreated and violated.

Ladies and Gentlemen what type of world are we living in? Why have we created a climate in this country that leaves victims of sexual assault afraid to come forward and receive justice. Why are we cultivating a climate in which they will be killed, threatened or run the risk of having their character assassinated? What are we doing to our own friends and family members? We must muster up enough compassion to nourish the roots of brokenness, fear and sadness so that those around us may blossom and thrive again in a safe and healthy environment. We must learn to accept the “horrifying truths” that those around us have been living with. People are hurting and we on social media and in the political arenas are strengthening the power of their assailants. We encounter sexual assault victims on a daily basis without even knowing it. Might I suggest we learn to choose our words more carefully when discussing sexual assault accusations.


Blessings Upon Blessings


Florence Is Coming

We have been preparing and stressing for days now. Hurricane Florence is beginning to bare down on the North Carolina and South Carolina Coastline. Winds and rain are marching towards us at a slow steady but deadly pace. Even though I am almost three hours away the fear of the strength, power and size of the storm still has me somewhat flustered.

The fear of flooding, tornadoes and loss of life. This storm is simply too big and I feel somewhat humbled by the helplessness we have against Mother Nature and God. This storm requires the grace and mercy of the Almighty God. I am just praying those that have decided to stay along the coast will actually miraculously survive. Florence is here and clearly there was honestly very little we could do to prepare. Unfortunately we  lack the power as humans to stop the storm.

As I have been preparing my home and family for the storm I have pondered the thought of my handling of my life’s personal storms. I realized that I often struggle between handling storms like Noah and/ or Jonah. Sometimes I decide to be well informed and well prepared like Noah. Other times I feel like running and hiding and ignoring the warnings like Jonah. Do I stand tall and begin building my ark ignoring the snickering, judgement and criticism of others? Or do I tuck my tail between my legs and crawl into the comforts of my bed and ignore the storm warnings? Risking my loved ones peace, protection and leaving them vulnerable without warning?  Either way the storm is still coming.

Thanks be to God for technology and meteorologist men and women. In this day and age we are blessed to receive advanced storm warnings. I chose to take the path of Noah. I shall heed God’s warnings and build a fortress with a storm in mind. This can only be achieved through praying and studying while meditating on the Word of God. Prayers are a mighty fortress indeed. They can build walls up and create bridges across the troubled waters. Prayers shall lead us all to safety. So tonight ” Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16 NIV

I solicit your prayers tonight for all God’s People in the path of this storm as we begin to endure the violence, strength and power of this major hurricane named Florence.

Blessings Upon Blessings


Holy Ground

I never could understand how people would create conflict and confusion in their own church. Why would you want to destroy the one place on earth that should be destined for peace. It should be sacred ground. Church should be the most protected place by Christians like you and me. Church was designed for prayer and worship. A place to find refuge in times of life’s storms. A place to come into for warmth from a dark and hostile world.  Church is where God wants us to find compassion, support and most of all love. Church is a place where we must discipline ourselves and honestly learn to deny the urgings of self. Church is not a place one should expect to come to for fueling their ego of power. Church is not a place to come for status and financial networking. Church should not be a place where we come to make others feel small. Church is not a place to mistreat and disrespect members that are now full of wisdom yet their bodies seem to be failing somewhat because they are getting old. Church should be a place of reverence. A place of humbleness. Church should be a place of prayer and devotion. Churches should be a stage for testimonies and joyful songs about the goodness of the Almighty God. Church should not be about you or me. Church should simply always be about God.

So many people are born into a church and feel like they own it. Some people give money to the church not out of compassion nor sacrifice for blessing others, but for power and recognition. We must understand that it does not give us the right to own or control the Church. No matter whom your family is in the community and how long your families names has been on the roll, you my brothers and sisters still do not get to claim ownership. The Church belongs to God and Him alone. I struggle to understand why people do not want to accept the fact that a church cannot or should not belong to anyone. Often times small factions rise up inside a tranquil church and create ugly, dark and heartbreaking storms. You would think that God would frown upon it all. You would think that God might become so fed up that He might take a mighty swipe and allow the temple to be destroyed. I don’t know about any of you but that is something I would not want to be a part of.

We must learn to recognize that the community and non believers are always in the shadows watching and waiting to see what goes on. We should be allowing our lights to shine each and every Sunday morning. Thousands of churches have been destroyed all because someone with a hidden selfish agenda has made God sick to His stomach and He has simply said ” No more! Turn the lights off and shut the doors.”

The time has come my brothers and sisters for us to give our churches back to the Lord. As shocking as it might be to some to Him it all belongs. I would never want to stand in front of God on my great “getting up morning”  and have to answer to Him why the church I sat in Sunday after Sunday had been destroyed. Just as sure a the key fits the lock and the pipe organ turns on the enemy gets dressed up really sharp and pretty and marches right in through the doors. The interesting thing about the enemy is he is not particular. He uses both the back and the front door. He doesn’t have to have a particular seat he is comfortable on the front pew, the back pew, the choir stand, the pulpit  or sometimes he prefers to masquerade as an usher at the church doors. The enemy is an equal opportunity church employer. If the doors are open he is there. The one thing about the enemy that is different from  we believers is he never misses a Sunday. He might be quiet and he may dance through the pews unnoticed. But you best believe he is sitting there watching and waiting to see whom might be his next pawn in the destruction of peace because that is truly what he enjoys. The enemy has the best perfect attendance record in the history of the world.

I am often reminded of the letters Paul sent to various churches. I always remember thinking it’s a sad thing that someone would have to remind church members of the proper way to behave in the House of the Lord.  Life is hard and trials and tribulations come without respect or remorse. Why on earth would we allow our behavior to bring it upon our own church doors.  All of God’s people that hold positions in authority need to take a seat on the pews closest to the altar. Take a deep breath and take a look at the table before you. Read it and weep ” This Do In Remembrance of Me” Not remembrance of you, your pastor, your daddy, your momma, your grandpa or your grandma. Do this in remembrance of ME! Remind yourself to whom you belong and to whom you must answer to at the end of your day . I encourage churches to open up your altars once again. Draw people to the front on a regular basis. Allow folks to get on their knees if they want. Bring back the kneeling benches and encourage your members to submit to God and once again be humble.  Let us all repent and start all over.

People are watching what we do. They are watching what we say. They are watching us on their phones and laptops Sunday after Sunday. They are watching from near and far and our church secrets aren’t church conference kept anymore. The world needs to see us worshiping and giving thanks unto the Lord. They don’t need to witness  our bad habits of self indulgence and control.  If your name is on every single decision making committee within the church you attend then you my brothers and sisters are only on it for control. If you aren’t willing to teach Sunday School, help with the Youth Department, volunteer in the Nursery, work in the kitchen, help with the food pantry, donate service hours in your community……then I hate to tell you my brothers and sisters…….you need to get somewhere and sit down because this place you come to Sunday after Sunday is Holy Ground. If you aren’t willing to take a knee on a few Sundays or lift up your voice in prayer or lift up your arms every once in awhile you lack the spiritual fortitude or spiritual direction to control anything Godly. Give the control back to the Holy Spirit and God. You my friends are about to get yourselves in a world of trouble because you are not behaving with respect, honor and reverence to God’s Anointed Holy Ground. Be careful how you behave next time you get the courage to step on God’s Holy Ground. Conduct yourselves accordingly because God is truly watching how you  handle business on His Holy Ground. Please don’t let God have to get your attention through plagues of sickness disease and loss. Give the control back to the Almighty God lest we forget that it’s truly His Holy Ground. Don’t you be the reason hurting people don’t trust us enough to take a chance on finding healing and peace on God’s Holy Ground.

Blessings Upon Blessings.


Mrs E The Boardwalk and Me

In April I happened to be watching a church service livestream. During the church announcements they mentioned one of my favorite female speakers was going to be in North Charleston in July. I quickly wrote the date down and instantly became excited, because this would only be a 3 hour drive for me.  I mentioned it to my husband, and he quickly encouraged me to go.  He encouraged me so much he made me grab my laptop and purchase the ticket the exact same day.  He knows if I ponder over spending money and doing things, I will quickly talk myself out of going.  He in his usual charming way persuaded me that I definitely needed to go. He was so determined that I should go he went online a few weeks later and booked my hotel right next to the Charleston Coliseum because he had set a rate alert and noticed they were filling up fast and the prices were quickly soaring. I was fully committed and convinced I needed to go.

Well, fast forward to last week and of course my hesitation of traveling to a Women’s Conference alone with approximately 7,000 strangers was not going unnoticed. I kept thinking ,this thing is 2 days, what on earth am I doing? Well my husband was as usual reading my mind and he kept saying, ” Oh sweetheart we are definitely going. I am driving you myself to insure that you go.” Well, Friday morning came and it seemed as if my husbands work phone would not stop ringing. I mean phone call after phone call. Honestly, that has never ever happened before. I noticed as I packed he kept putting out fires and answering the phone over and over. Finally, I sat down on the bed and said, ” Honey we really don’t have to go.”He quickly replied “Nope you must go.”  So, an hour or so later we were on the road.

The trip was quiet and the traffic was light, and things seem to simply flow. The phone had stopped ringing and the sun was a glow. Then 10 miles from our exit, the bottom fell out of the sky. We could no longer see the cars in front of us and we were in the farthest lane without anywhere to go. Instantly my phone’s weather alerts started going off. If I remember correctly it simply said, ” Expect torrential rain , sudden downpours with localized flooding.” I thought to myself, ” Oh my God why did I come?” Alas, we made it through to the hotel safely and I was suddenly emotionally drained and exhausted.

Upon entering the hotel lobby all we met were smiling faces of beautiful women of all different races. There was excitement in the air, as church groups were gathered in conversation all throughout the lobby. The front desk clerks were courteous, but advising the large groups that their rooms unfortunately were not ready. As we stood in the long line I thought, ” Oh great….just what I need is a delay.” Well, when we finally reached the counter, we were delighted to hear that our room was actually ready. Upstairs I went to grab a quick bite to eat and get refreshed and dressed. The hotel that my husband had chosen had a boardwalk that connected the property to the Charleston Coliseum.  The boardwalk took you approximately 2 blocks across a wooded marsh to the coliseum property. Well, unfortunately it was raining. My husband had planned to walk me over the boardwalk and come back for me that night. We knew it would be a nightmare for him to get on and off the coliseum property without parking. So I called down to the front desk to inquire about the shuttle because there was already heavy traffic in the area. They informed me to just come downstairs and the shuttle would be leaving every half hour. I was told no reservations were needed. They would drop me off and pick me back up at 9:30. I thought this was awesome, because I wouldn’t have to drive by myself or pay for parking.

At 5:20 my husband walked me downstairs to catch the shuttle. The hotel lobby was jumping and buzzing. It was a sea of women, some dressed in the same colors, and others adorned in their churches t-shirts. I thought to myself, ” I will never ever get over to the coliseum.” I walked out to the shuttle and the driver informed me to wait in the lobby, because there were several groups ahead of me. I said, ” Fine” and headed back in. Well, a few minutes later the driver got my husband’s attention, and said he was ready to take me. Well I thought, “What about all these other ladies?” He stated they were still waiting for other people. I couldn’t see inside the shuttle because it was wrapped in the hotel logo . Apparently you can see out but you can’t see in the windows. Well, the driver opened the door and there sat one woman with the biggest smile I have ever seen. I said, “Hello are you waiting for the rest of your group to get in?” and she said, ” No its just going to be me and you going.” So, I went to sit in the next row and she said, ” No! No! You are going to sit right beside me ,come on in here.” So I smiled and got up into the van. The driver began to talk to us and asked where we were from. We both were from different parts of North Carolina. I quickly found out that she had flown in by herself and was traveling alone this weekend.

Upon turning into the coliseum property the driver let out a sigh. There were women wrapped all around the building. We had come 2 hours early and he had never ever seen so many people this early at the coliseum. He asked if we had the number to call for the shuttle at 9:30, and we exited the van. I asked the sweet lady her name and she said, “Mrs. E” and I told her my name.  We headed towards the end of the line and began talking with other women.  Upon entering the building we began looking for a seat and noticed the floor seats were mostly open. We were advised by an usher that it was general seating, and we were more than welcome to go down to lower level seating. I thought to myself what a blessing. Mrs. E and I talked for the next hour or so with all of the ladies around us. Some were taking selfies others were asking strangers to take pictures of them, and there was so much excitement. Thousands of ladies laughing and talking. It was honestly unlike anything I had ever seen.  An usher came around with small sheets of papers and encouraged everyone to complete them. It was a card with different categories of prayers.  So I filled out my card and they collected them. Well the lights went down and the conference began. Beautiful powerful songs of worship and lots of swaying and singing.

So, the speaker for the weekend comes up on stage and I mean she was really enjoying the worship groups singing. She started talking about the cards and stated that she wanted to deviate somewhat from the schedule, and go ahead and begin praying. She explained that a few in the worship band were needing prayer about direction and transition. She stated that God was really encouraging her to begin praying for them. Well, she asked if anyone in the audience had listed prayer for spiritual guidance to stand. Well, I didn’t list that but I sure had been praying for that exact thing for the past 8 or so weeks. All of a sudden, I found myself on my feet. That was so not what I had put on my card. Mrs. E had quickly leaned over and whispered ,” You need to be standing.” Honestly, I don’t remember getting to my feet. Well, the speaker asked everyone to look around and find someone near you that was standing and to go stand with them. Well, a  few ladies behind me and Mrs. E were quickly on each side of me. They were told to lay hands on me and to begin praying. Now how on earth Mrs. E knew exactly what was posted on my war room wall at home, I have absolutely no idea. She began praying and reading word for word what I had written and been praying for almost a year now. I honestly couldn’t believe it. But when she stopped praying aloud the other one began praying, and she began speaking the exact same words to me that my husband had been saying to me weekly leading up to this event. I was stunned ,not scared but absolutely certifiably stunned. As my mouth hung open the tears began to flow, and I felt a comfort and peace that I had forgotten I had even known.

After the two women prayed the speaker began to pray for all of us standing and literally touched on every single point again. I didn’t know whether to stand there continuing to cry or run. Well, as the prayers continued the speaker asked for the women that had requested prayers for their marriage to put their hand up.  Well, then she asked for those of us that had happy strong marriages that had endured some stuff to stand up. She then asked us to go to the nearest person with their hand up and pray with her for them. Well, I went 2 rows up because I needed to give back, because I had just been prayed for. I gently laid my hand upon the shoulders of a beautiful lady with extremely long blonde hair. She turned and smiled at me and at that moment her friends realized her hand was up. They all looked extremely shocked. Well they all grabbed hands and the one closest to her reached out to touch her. She had an entire row with her. When we all finished praying for her she had tears in her eyes and she turned and gave me the biggest hug. Well, I returned to my seat.  All of a sudden, I noticed there were shrieks coming from her row and everyone was looking at her phone. She quickly got up and came to where I sat and got down on her knees with her phone. She explained that while we were praying for her that her phone had begun vibrating at her foot in her purse. She showed the text from her husband.  It was very kind and thoughtful and it simply said ” I hope you have lots of fun, you deserve it and I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.” I looked at her and she said, ” He never texts me and he has never cared if I had any fun.” She was crying and I was crying, Mrs. E was shouting “Praise God” and even the ladies on the row behind Mrs. E and I were suddenly crying. It was clear that there were prayers getting through to God above.

Mrs. E just patted me on the shoulder and smiled all night long. Well, upon exiting the coliseum we noticed the shuttle line had been overtaken by motor coach buses.  So, Mrs. E asked me if I knew about the boardwalk. I told her yes but I had no idea how to find it in the dark. She stated she had come over earlier during the day and found her way. She stated she didn’t come that way earlier because it was wet and raining but since I was with her she felt comfortable going back that way because it was lighted.  I looked up the map of the coliseum and we found our way together to the boardwalk.  So, Mrs. E and I took the boardwalk back to the hotel along the lightened path. We talked and we walked and before we knew it we were back at the hotel.  We agreed to meet in the morning and use the boardwalk to return to the coliseum.


The next morning sure enough Mrs. E was sitting in the hotel restaurant finishing her breakfast. So I sat down with her. She had the biggest smile upon her face. Well, we headed out the door and across the boardwalk. She told me that she had not been able to sleep much last night, because God had her mind on me. She told me that she had been praying for me all night long. I thanked her for her prayers. Well, we sat down in the floor seats of the coliseum and Mrs. E was still smiling. She turned to me and she began to speak……..the things Mrs. E started telling me left me smiling and shaking. Mrs. E knew things about me that only my husband knows about me. I have not shared these things with anyone but him. Not even my children know that I possess these things.  For about 4  years I have dreamed and ponder over these things. Mrs. E could not know these things. She smiled the entire time and said to me, ” You can smile at me all you want, but I know the look on your face, God has already written these things about you and for you, the time has come for you to stop playing. I have already made a few contacts and it’s time for you to start getting things ready. I have agreed to stand in the gap praying for you during this transition. You are going to be fine and the next few months of your life will be drastically changing all for good.” She smiled patted my knee and we enjoyed the rest of the convention.  At the end of the conference we were asked to grab a prayer card out of the many baskets and commit to pray for  that person for the next 7 days. So I reached down and grabbed 2 of them.

On the way back that afternoon as we crossed the boardwalk Mrs. E began telling me about the road that lies before me. She explained that it was no coincidence that only she and I ended up on that shuttle alone together. She explained that had all those other women gotten on the shuttle, we would never have spoken. She asked me if I noticed that when we got out of the shuttle the rain and stopped and had never again fallen. She drew the correlation between the boardwalk and my travels with God. Both had been well lit and I hadn’t had to journey alone because there was always someone right there beside me. Someone leading me through the darkness of night along a path I had never ever traveled. Someone to walk with me through the daylight on the boardwalk well hidden, secluded and not often traveled. Mrs. E and I stood at the elevator and she turned to me and said ” I have agreed to stand in the gap praying for you during this transition. I don’t want you to worry.  You just get prepared and let me do all the praying and worrying. I will be in touch with you soon. Get prepared young lady you are about to be really busy.”

Well, as I walked into the hotel room my husband could look at my face and tell something had again happened. When I told him of the events of the day he wasn’t the least bit surprised. He quickly explained that the chaos of Friday morning was simply the enemy determined to keep me from traveling. He stated that he knew that it was imperative at that point that I make it to Charleston, because God had huge plans for me and the enemy wanted to stop me. He commented on how bad the rain had suddenly shown up as we got close to Charleston. Well, I sat on the bed and pulled the prayer cards from my purse. Sweet Jesus, one of the cards was from a mother who had written the same exact prayer on her card for her children…..I mean almost word for word…..She too has 3 children and wants the same things. I screamed and threw the card towards my husband and quietly exited to the bathroom. It was not until the door was closed that I allowed myself to look in the mirror and begin crying, because I realized that God had destined for me to come to Charleston. If I had not watched that livestream service that Sunday morning, I honestly wouldn’t have known to even come. On our way home a wreck happened literally right in front of us and I quickly let the enemy know he had picked the wrong one. We would witness 3 more close calls of accidents before us before we returned safely home.

I left Charleston encouraged and renewed with a new friend with all the characteristics of my late grandmother. Mrs. E has a big smile, a quiet giggle and the gentle voice of wisdom of my namesake grandmother. All week leading up to this conference I had petitioned God for a new friend. I asked Him for someone that could see what I see almost daily. My life has already begun to change as a result of the weekend with Mrs. E, the Boardwalk and Me. Grateful to be reminded and reassured that God always walks the Boardwalk of Life with me and if He is busy He sends an angel like Mrs. E.

Blessings Upon Blessings



What In The “Pew” Are We Here For?

What In The” Pew” Are We Here For?

Over the past year our world has changed in ways I could have never imagined. Anger, hatred, violence, racism, discrimination and evil seem to have taken over our streets and hearts like a plague cast on Egypt. The love for our fellow brothers and sisters seems to be at an all time low. For some reason my soul just simply can’t yet conform to the new days that now lay before us.

A few weeks ago a good friend and someone I really look up to stopped in the middle of town on a street corner and spoke to me. We began talking about things and the state of the world today. In talking he said to me “ we seem to have forgotten whom the church really is. We are the church each and every one of us that claims to believe and serve The True Living God.” Even a few weeks later his words continue to ring in my ears. I too had forgotten that I am a church. Oh how I need to clean up the windows of my soul and repaint my weather beaten steeple. My church bell seems to be out of order and in desperate need of repair I am sure. I can’t remember the last time someone actually listened to me when I rang my bell and reminded folks that someday Jesus would be returning. Clearly those around me are unable to hear the ring and clammer of my personal church anymore.

I have been struggling the past year waiting for fellow Christians to sound the alarm against the awful things that are currently going on in our world. I have waited for church groups, fellow church members to stand up and unite in prayer and hope for a better tomorrow. I waited for calls to the altar for prayers of unarmed shooting victims, children and teachers killed in school shootings, women abused and mistreated, deliverance and protection for desperate immigrants, drug addicts, loved ones without medical insurance and sanity and civility within our own government again. Yet all I have heard are crickets. Very few sermons are being preached and very few prayers are being offered amongst the pews of our country each and every Sunday. Yet if a policeman is shot in the line of duty I often will hear certain preachers mention that. Honestly I don’t see the difference, each one mentioned is just as awful as the other. Why on earth are the others never mentioned? Do we God’s people not care about all of that? Shouldn’t we care about all of this? Have we lost our will to show compassion towards our fellow man? Have we ever stopped to think about how God truly feels about all of that?

What if God today in this moment decided to shut His borders? What if because of the state of our world today God decided we were not His people. Our behavior or looks no longer resembled someone welcome in Heaven? What if God turned His back on our desperate cries? What if He began to snatch away our children without justification, compassion or care? What if God took the mirrors of our souls and used them as reflections of Him? What if God chose to run His Kingdom like we do here on earth? What shape would we all truly be in then?

Church attendance around this country is at an all time low. People like me are desperate for a compassionate world. We long for a world that God Himself would be so proud of. Yet we walk amongst fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and some act like they are spiritually and morally dead. Each Sunday folks are feeling like they are attending a funeral. Absolutely no compassion being preached in the majority of the world. Very few shouting “We Are The World.” People holding on more tightly to political views and political parties than the teachings of Jesus Christ. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthews 5:7-10.

Honestly people what and whom have we become? Have we forgotten to clean the windows of our souls that our little light might shine? Have we adorned our steeples with so much materialistic garbage that our steeples can no longer be identified or recognized? Have we unknowingly left our church within the pews of the thousands of building across our land? What in Jesus name are we doing? Why are we even bothering to attend church? Have we forgotten that we are the true and living church and not the brick and mortar?  Has it just simply become a bad habit some type of twisted ritual? Seriously my fellow brothers and sister…… What In The “Pew” Are We Here For?

Blessings Upon Blessings








Help Wanted Seeking Legions Of Rams In The Bush

Help Wanted Seeking Legions Of Rams In The Bush

This has been a troubling week for the soul of a woman like me. So I beg of you to allow me attempt to paint a picture for you all from a different point of view. I hope you don’t mind if I recall a few scriptures as I share this story with you.

Unless you have been under a rock the last few days, you know by now that our country is in a huge immigration debate. Some folks have decided to pick a side. Some are crying GOP while others are screaming Liberals for me! I am one of those caught in the middle. I am just sickened to my stomach grieving deep in my soul for the young children I continue to see crying on my tv.

A few nights ago when this story broke I sat on my couch literally frozen. As a mother and as a woman I honestly began to truly grieve. I could not help but think what if  my kids had been taken from me upon desperately entering a foreign country. Not a vacation for which I had paid lots of money. But upon entering a place that I had prayed out to God along the journey to find safety and a better life for my children and me.

I sat imagining if my kids and I had been traveling for months by foot with barely any money or food to eat. Fleeing from a corrupt government that wished to kill me and my husband. Evil people prepared to murder or enslave my sons. Monsters eager to rape my young daughter or send her into prostitution.

We had crawled, begged, stolen along our path to a promise of freedom. We didn’t have the luxury of a cell phone, GPS or access to internet when we started out on this journey. Yet we knew we must head north if there was any hope of escaping this life of cruelty and bondage! We had left a Legion of Herods behind us and unbeknownst to us a Legion of Pharaohs were eagerly awaiting us up north at the border.

We have absolutely no idea we are about to be separated from our children. We had considered being turned around or perhaps detained for a short period of time, but never in our wildest dreams separated from our beloved children. Had I known what lay before us here I would have rather died in the hills of suicide side by side with my children. At least I would have known what had happened to them.

Alas, I sit here in a cage with other women and I have no idea the whereabouts of either my husband or my children. All I have in this moment of time are the prayers choked down in my heart by my tears and sobbing. In this moment the darkest hours of my life, I cry out to the Lord for a ram in the bush like He had given to His beloved Abraham in the book of Genesis 22:9-13. An unexpected blessing in a bush to save my children.

I lay praying on a cold floor. Praying to God to send an angel to protect and save my children. Might God be so kind to grant me grace and mercy one more time. Might He send forth an angel to hear my children’s cries? Someone to rise up and save them. Might God send some women from Pharaoh’s country like He did for Moses when He sent Shiphrah & Puah to do His will not Pharaoh’s bidding.  Just like He did in Exodus 1:15-21. Might God be merciful to send us a few of Pharaoh’s daughters that might hear the cries of our children and feel sorry for them just like in Exodus 2:5-6?

Ladies of these United States might we find the courage to rise up and fight for the protection and rights of a stranger’s children? Might we do what is humane and morally right in this moment. Can we stand up to the heartless folks in our country? Can we unite as a Legions of Rams in the bushes? Perhaps the Lord might see and feel our compassion. When our vapors of life have come to an end……… He will swing open wide the Mighty Gates of Heaven saying “ come home my Daughters of Pharaoh.  I am grateful for what I witnessed you all doing for My children. Come on across My border you all are welcome here.”

Blessings Upon Blessings


The Upper Room

The Upper Room

Over the past few weeks I have noticed a growing spirit of depression, grief and anger amongst my friends and loved ones. Honestly it’s like nothing I have ever seen before. I know that the sometimes harsh and devastating news reports can weigh a person down. I also know that the political climate in our country right now is not for the faint at heart. Everywhere we turn there just seems to be death, anger, hatred and depression. This is so not the world that God envisioned for any of us. Alas we all know the stories found in the book of Genesis. Most of us have some idea of how sin was born. Unfortunately when Adam and Eve passed the baton of sin mankind grabbed it and took off running. So it is my friends that we live with so much hurt, hatred, frustration, evil, division and depression. Our God is merciful and it truly never was His intent for His Beloved Children.

When I was a child growing up in Chicago Mahalia Jackson was a famous gospel singer. You could drop in to any African American Church on Sunday and probably hear a song by Mahalia.

I was already familiar with her music because my grandmother and her sisters would sing one of those songs whether  riding  in the car, at Christmas dinner, while sitting at my great grandmother’s house while holding vigil over her, while cleaning their houses, cooking dinner or even during a family reunion. One of Mrs. Jackson’s songs was “In The Upper Room.” Lord my great aunt Pansy was blessed with a voice that could sing all of Mahalia Jackson’s song. When she and her sisters would talk about troubles, trial and tribulations often times they would just start singing that song. They always talked about the power of stealing away to God in the upper room. I was young, I just liked those songs. I had no idea what the lyrics to any of the songs meant. Thanks Be to God that now I know the meaning and importance of each and every song.

After watching the movie War Room with some of my friends I began to make a conscious effort to spend more time with God. Over Christmas Break of 2017 I desired a more deliberate quiet space in which I could perhaps spend time with God. I needed my own special closet but none was available to be had. So I kept praying and thinking and one day while watching TV with my spouse a corner of my dining area caught my eye. A few clicks online and a few shipments from Amazon and my prayer space was done. As I began to set up my prayer board, gather my books, invest in post it notes and light my candles I realized I needed music and some songs.

I went all across the music spectrum in search of passionate relatable songs. My first selection of songs included “Holy Holy Holy’ by Donnie McClurkin, Vashawn Mitchell, Chicago Mass Choir, Hezekiah Walker, Yolanda Adams, William McDowell, Crystal Yates featuring Michah Tyler, Joshua Sherman and Charity Gayle, Kirk Franklin, Travis Greene and Tasha Cobbs Leonard. Yet I knew I was missing something. I just could not put my finger on it. Well in a few days I began to feel the movement of God. By the end of the first week  I felt His presence so strong that I would hate to be interrupted and  I never wanted to leave my little room. I was thanking God for things, begging for forgiveness for my thoughts and my mouth, and I was petitioning God on the behalf of friends , loved ones, enemies and people I didn’t even know. All I needed was to hear about a need or read about a need on social media and out a new brightly colored sticky note would come. Within the second week I barely had room for a new one. I was hungry to spend time with God. I realized that even though I had been busy with church stuff and social stuff I truly was not experiencing the full presence of God. I must warn you now my friends………when you begin to truly spend quiet, intimate time with God be prepared for full blown worship. The tears begin to fall the hands begin to go up and the spirit of your Powerful Merciful Loving God begins to move all around. Peace begins to flow like a river. Thankfulness flows from your mouth. Blessings begin to rain down on those you have been lifting up and healing abounds all around town. You find yourself in such a content place that you finally realize that you can do all things through time well spent with a True and Living God.

So a few weeks in I was walking toward my special little room and Mahalia Jackson’s song began to ring in my ears as I crossed my kitchen…………..

In the upper room with Jesus

Singing in tears blessed fears

Daily there my sins confessing

Beggin for his mercy sweet

Trusting his grace and power

Seeking help in loving prayers

It is this how I feel the spirit

And I sat with him and pray

Oh, he’s in in the upper room

With Jesus

Oh, it’s in the upper room

When my lord and your god

When he’s in the upper room

Yes, he’s in the upper room

Well he’s in the upper room

Talking with the Lord

Oh my, Hallelujah, Lord

It was in that very moment that I realized what I had created. I had created that sacred space in which my Elders had song and talked about all those years ago. It had taken me this long to understand the importance of giving my mind and time to God instead of wasting it on the thoughts and ugliness of this world. I had totally retrained my mind to Him as opposed to the enemy. You know who I am talking about……that thing that gives us sad, ugly, hurtful, depressing and troubling thoughts. I had unknowingly made the choice to fix my thoughts on things other than this world for short periods of time.

Needless to say that after I got over the shock of it all…….Mrs. Mahalia Jackson made her way to the top of my playlist and her songs stay in my rotation. I make sure to listen to her often because you don’t find that type of wisdom floating around anymore. So today I encourage all of you that are in dark places to create a space in your hearts and minds to spend sacred time with God. If you have a space within your home or office create a place for God. I am telling you it can be each morning or afternoon right at the steering wheel of your car. Spend more time talking to and thanking God and that enemy I mentioned will depart from you. You my friends and loved ones are simply giving him to much of your time. He came to kill, steal and destroy your peace of mind. Tell him his time is up and that you now from this moment on simply only have time for God! Fix your minds my friends. It’s not about your hearts those are true, gentle and kind. You just need time in the Upper Room with God to heal and strengthen your minds.

Blessings Upon Blessings




A Mother’s Day Orphan

In our world we celebrate holidays often. Usually those are days set aside to celebrate, eat, fellowship and  give special recognition. Some days celebrate a person, others a religion, others are just days set aside to celebrate a significant occurrence. Whatever the day and whatever the reason it gives us so much joy to celebrate. Honestly in such a troubling world these special days set aside are truly needed.

Years ago I happened upon a conversation. Someone I have known and respected all my life was in a serious discussion with another person. I quickly realized they were discussing a very touchy subject. They were discussing Mother’s Day. One person was excited and looking forward to it. The other was angry, offended and wanting no part of it. I sat quietly and listened.

I was a young mother and I was excited that God had blessed me with children. I had been blessed with a wonderful mother. I had also been blessed to meet 3 of my great-grandmothers and my 2 grandmothers. I was surrounded by mothers. I had been born into unbeknownst to me a blessed life with many  types of mothers. I had taken for granted that I had done something rare. I had gotten the privilege of meeting both my parents mothers and their mothers. At this particular time I still had my own mother.

One of the women in the conversation was very upset and had recently lost her mother. She was very hurt and justifiably still grieving. The other still had her mother and was simply excited to have the opportunity to celebrate mothers. Well the grieving woman looked her square in the eye and said “ I don’t give a damn about anyone else’s mother. My Mother is dead and I don’t want any part of celebrating Mothers! How dare you all want to celebrate Mother’s.” I must admit I was shocked to hear this coming from this person. She was the one always keeping everyone else together. She was the strong one. She was the one guaranteed to be calm, cool and collected.

The other woman just stood in amazement. You could see the hurt, disbelief and shock of the words from the other woman. She calmly replied “ I am sorry. I was not trying to make you feel bad about not having your mother. I know we have always been responsible for the programs celebrating mothers. I didn’t forget that you lost your mother. I am just so used to us doing things for mothers. I am sorry, I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you.” She dropped her head and walked off slowly.

The grieving woman began to cry and walked away in the opposite direction. I stood standing there with a whole new perspective on Mother’s Day Celebrations. I began to sincerely contemplate discussions with other people concerning things as they pertained to whether that person still had a living mother. But I also walked away thinking that I never wanted to punish another person for still having their mother. If I ever were to lose my mother I prayed that the Lord would not allow me to hate folks for still having their mother.

Years later I did in fact lose my mother. I lost her to the dreaded disease called cancer. Let  me correct myself right now. I lost my mother’s earthly body to cancer but her spirit is still alive and thriving up in heaven. Earth’s loss of her human body and presence was heaven’s gain for her to be received there and live forever. If I trust and believe in the promises of both God and Jesus I have truly lost nothing. She has just gone on before me to an extended vacation.

I will not lie. I have days when the thought of my mother not being here destroys me in seconds. Others days I walk in the light, laughter and love of her memories. Some days I encounter people that complain and whine about doing things for their mother. I quickly let them know I think they are truly “stuck on stupid” and I warn them that one day they shall wish she would pick up the phone and call them or even get on their nerves. When I encounter people who are primary caregivers for their now aging and ailing mothers, I try to strengthen and renew them with words of encouragement. I have been a caregiver of a mother and it’s not easy watching the deterioration of the health of one’s beloved mother. I pray for my friends that are caregivers of their mother’s often. I know those are big shoes in which some walk daily with their Mothers. Not having a mother will truly hurt you. But I will never hate someone for still having their mother. Have I ever asked God why some people still have their mothers? Yes I have on more than one occasion asked God that very question. His most clearest reply was “ she had taught you all that she needed to teach you. It was her season to come on home and claim her mansion.”

Mother’s Day for people who no longer have their mothers…… the day the world unintentionally helps to remind them that they are now orphans. To lose one’s mother is like being dropped off in the middle of a busy city street,  on a planet you don’t know, completely naked. I mean bare to the bone. You have absolutely no emotional covering and you are suddenly paralyzed and numb. All of your weaknesses, insecurities and greatest fears are suddenly brought to the forefront. You are abandoned and suddenly frightfully alone. You are officially and certifiably now an orphan.

So this Mother’s Day might I suggest that those that still have a Mom celebrate celebrate celebrate! Those that no longer have your Mom cry if you must. If going to bed is what you feel will work you have every right to do that. If you happen to be a mother try celebrating with your children. Whatever you must do to get through this day……You do what you MUST! No one here on earth has the right to judge you.

Blessings Upon Blessings


He’s At The Beach Peeps

I am blessed to be spending the week at the beach. Of all the places in the world and all the vacations I have taken none compare to days spent at the beach. The constant rhythm of the waves, the sand between my toes and the fresh clean air are most refreshing. For me spiritually nothing compares to the beach.

Years ago my uncle lay dying in an intensive care unit. He was a Vietnam Veteran that unfortunately had become a chain smoker and had been exposed to the dreaded Agent Orange while fighting over there. We knew that he had been on the breathing machine for over 45 days this particular stay and things were not looking good for him.

I remember rubbing his soft hair and kissing his forehead. I remember bending down and whispering in his ear. I told him that I understood if he was tired of fighting for each and every breath. I told him that I knew he believed in God and that there was a place for him already set. I told him how much I appreciated his love and wisdom for me down through the years. I told him that I loved him very much but that we would be alright if he decided it was time to go on ahead. I asked him to promise me just one thing and he squeezed my hand. I asked him to come back to me and tell me if all that we had discussed about God and Heaven were true. I asked him to confirm for me that God truly was Whom People Say He Is. As painful as it was to say those things out loud I knew those things needed to be said. Again he squeezed my hand. Little did I know later on that very night that once I left the hospital my uncle would decide to give up and go on ahead. I wasn’t gone 15 minutes before the ICU nurse called for me to come back up there. My beloved Uncle E had quietly and suddenly passed.

A few days later after a terrible ice storm my family made the dangerous journey out to the family church to lay my beloved uncle to rest. For some of us it was very sad. As I approached the casket I wasn’t quite so sad. He looked handsome as ever and at peace lying there. The service was beautiful. My cousin the preacher gave the passionate eulogy as he always did. The choir sang my Uncle’s favorite songs and hymns. People got up and told the truth about how kind, funny and generous my uncle had been. Then it was time for the final viewing. For me this was it.

I rose from my pew and headed to the front of the church. Amazing enough I still wasn’t sad. I had spent so many long days and nights with my uncle through the years. It had been hard to watch him every moment of the day struggle to catch his breath. Even through his jokes and laughter the poor man  had to struggle for his breath. For me to be sad about him going to be with the Lord simply was not fair. I remember bending down to stroke his hair and all of a sudden all that I could hear was the loud sound of water roaring through my ears. It was a loud and powerful sound that to this day if I get still and quiet I can hear it faintly in my ears. I remember not being alarmed or scared. I remember feeling light and I felt like I was floating. I could honestly feel the presence of peace that surpassed all understanding. I felt the overwhelming presence of God right where I stood. As I felt myself getting lightheaded I whispered to my spouse that I was about to faint. In that very moment that is exactly what I did. I had never done that. Honestly up until this moment that has never happened again. In death my uncle had blessed me with a priceless gift. He had persuaded God to meet me right there.

In the years that passed since my Uncle left me I have been drawn to the beach. Before this I really could care less about being there. Something about the sound of the water. The  peace of the waves brings me spiritual nourishment and peace. My soul is most content when I am here. Strangely when I visit the beach I sleep all night, no aches, no pains, no hot flashes, no stress, my heart finds a steady rhythm and I take the deepest breaths. I am forever convinced that the presence of God can be felt best at the beach. I rise early and I am drawn to the waves. In the early mornings of the sunrise I clear my thoughts and find peace within my soul spending time with God here. The sounds of the water and the non stop movement of the waves……..are mere tangible reassurances that God is still near. Just as sure as the waves come gently upon the shore day after day, hour upon hour, minute by minute and second by second. God is still here on earth listening to our prayers. In a crazy world full of noise, confusion, hatred and violence I encourage those whose souls are spent to journey here. God in His Awesome Wonders and Glory is waiting right here. In case you don’t believe me the verse is written right here………….

1Then he led me to the gate, the gate facing toward the east; 2and behold, the glory of the God of Israel was coming from the way of the east. And His voice was like the sound of many waters; and the earth shone with His glory. Ezekiel 43 1-2 NASB


Blessing Upon Blessings