Monthly Archives: November 2016

And Then There Was Light

I don’t want to miss my train

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There is something special about rolling over in your bed early in the morning before the sun has taken it’s place up high in the glorious sky. For some it can be an annoying time as we take a quick peek at the display of our alarm clock. For others it can be a reflective time. A rare moment of peace and tranquility. A time to stop and listen to your heart and mind as they seem to in a rare moment attempt to synchronize. A quiet dark moment to take some much needed deep breaths. A kind of “Peace Be Still” moment if you will.

morning-train

As I lay here in the dark quiet morning I can hear the train as it toots its horn through town.  I can actually hear the train cars rolling down the track. I focus to hear the train as it rolls off into the distance. I am suddenly reminded of an old Gospel song I have heard since I was a small child. I’m Going Home On The Morning Train goes somewhat like this……

Get right church and let’s go home (you better get right church and let’s go home)

Oh Oh Oh Get right church and let’s go home

Oh Oh Ooh Get right church, get right church

Get right church and let’s go home

(You know that) I’m goin’ home on the morning train

Oh Oh Ooh I’m goin’ home, I’m goin’ home

I’m goin’ home on the morning train

The evening train might be too late

I’m goin’ home on the morning train

That Gospel hymn is often  used in a Gospel play called Glory Train. It depicts several church members who are traveling to a church convention. On their way there they are all unexpectedly killed at the same time. They all assume they are going to Heaven. The play opens with them all waiting at the train station to board the Glory Train. They all have their tickets in their hand about to board the train to Glory to be with God. There are several characters all with different personalities and beliefs of how and why they deserve to go to Heaven. They have interesting names like Sister Living Right, Sister Goody Good, Sister Slip Around, Sister Nosey and Sister Chance just to name a few. It’s a powerful play that demonstrates that just because we label ourselves Christians  and have convinced ourselves that we are Christians doesn’t necessarily mean we will actually make it to Heaven. In the play the conductor makes several stops and characters are deported from the train. He gives you the reason why you must step off the train before it actually makes it to Heaven. All characters are truly stunned because they have been bible carrying, scripture slapping folks and pew watching  for practically all their lives. They have honestly seen nothing wrong with living like that.

This morning in the darkness before the break of this glorious day I have felt compelled to evaluate my seat on the Glory Train. What exactly does God Himself think of me. Have I always done things pleasing in HIs sight…..Umm Nope. Have I always strived to do my best to lead others to Christ?……Umm I have tried but probably not hard enough………Have I shared with folks the goodness of God?……..Umm every chance I get……..Have I sometimes judged folks based on the Laws of the Bible?…….Umm unfortunately yes!!   (Between You and Me I think in the past I may have used it wrong)The last question has been working on my soul a lot in the past few years. I have been struggling with watching others around me using Biblical Law to justify the mistreatment of others. Picking specific scriptures to justify overlooking the feelings of others. Yet failing to emphasize  some of Jesus Christ’s most powerful moments. Failing to realize the importance of the parables of Jesus’ love and acceptance of those disregarded by others. Jesus had a powerful mission here on earth to illustrate to us the Awesome Abundance of God’s Love for all of His Children. A message of Salvation in which Grace and Mercy graciously await to embrace all of us. We must only stop take a listen for God’s Voice. Feast upon His Word and be granted the privilege of tasting and seeing what God has for You and Me.

I have come to the conclusion that my sole purpose in life is simply to share the Good News of Jesus. To encourage others to read their bibles so that they too might gather a better understanding. I have realized that the Bible is for our own personal interpretation of God’s Word. It is God’s responsibility  to convict us. By focusing on our own studying it leaves less time for judging others. This morning I am reassured that my soul’s yearning to continue showing compassion and mercy towards others is key to me getting the Golden Ticket…….Perhaps one day I will be blessed to board the Glory Train and maybe just maybe I will manage to stay on the train until the last stop. The stop where streets are paved in gold and the rivers overflow with milk and honey. Perhaps I will once again get to see my Daddy and my Mommy. Perhaps someday I will be worthy to lay my head in the Bosom of God and dwell there with Him in Glory forever. For now I will embrace my early morning awakenings and constantly remind myself to work hard at doing the right things so that I might be blessed to ride the Train To Glory. Lord please grant me the wisdom and knowledge needed so that I will not miss Your Train to Glory.

Blessings Upon Blessings

Wow Wow Wow

What A Day to Remember!!!

For me this has been one of most difficult weeks of my life. I like many other people desperately wanted the election to be over. My mind and soul were sick of all the hatred and the arguments that had gone on for way too long. I just wanted to wake up to a steady but somewhat peaceful world. Unfortunately that is not exactly what was destined to happen. Around 3:30 Wednesday morning I awoke to alerts going off on my phone. I had forgotten to turn my volume down. My phone was going crazy. As I was about to roll over and blindly silence the phone I noticed the bedroom television was still on. I took a quick glance and suddenly realized what was probably going on with my phone.

I like many other Americans spent Wednesday morning in a fog. I silently sat in my bed and watched my Facebook feed show me all my Christian friends that were celebrating. I watched some friends like, love or comment on certain news status and post. I was simply horrified. I wasn’t horrified  by their party affiliation because I already unbeknownst to some of them knew it. I know these things because party affiliation is public record. I was just shocked at the mere fact that they had voted for a particular candidate. I have always had a diverse group of friends. It has never mattered what political party they were affiliated with. Yet this time for me how they have voted has sadly made a difference. I watched friend after friend after friend in jubilant celebration. Thanks to social media newsfeeds I now knew with whom I had been dealing with.

I found myself on my knees on my bathroom floor at 4:00am in the morning crying and praying. I was pleading with God to make this all a dream. I prayed and asked God to give me the right words for my morning meeting. You see I already knew the type of mean and discriminating world we live in. I now realized that by the results of this election the world as we knew it in a few hours would never be the same. I also knew that even though some of my friends would never go around bullying people and making racially charged statements at least not in public. I knew that some of this particular candidate’s followers would feel liberated and now feel free to do it. Now because the people had spoken “Political Correctness ” was no longer in some people’s minds needed. All gloves were off. All the frustration and anger could now be openly justified and allowed. Hatred and Discrimination Unleashed would suddenly seem appropriate. Obviously some of my friends and associates had not realized there would be new rules of engagement.

Finally, I gathered myself together and I headed for my meeting. Of all the days and all the meetings  that I am a part of. Today would be a Diversity Meeting. As I sat at a stop light at a very busy intersection I glanced over to the car on my left. Two men of a different race were sitting in it. All of a sudden the man in the passenger seat looked over at me started laughing and stuck up his middle finger. I wasn’t shocked and I was not disappointed. I just simply turned away from him and turned up my radio playing gospel music. I simply had no energy yet for the (insert bad word) yet. Yep I thought “this is only the beginning, this was what some of my friends had so excitedly voted for”.

After a very healthy and emotional  meeting I stopped at my local store to pick up a few things. Usually the atmosphere in the store is quite cheerful but not today. I gathered my things and headed for the cash register. As I approached the register there was couple and little boy standing there. The father quickly grabbed his son and moved over. He said to his son “ no worries son now that (Blank) is President  you don’t have to stand beside people like her anymore”. I just thought to myself  “Jesus Christ please just let me make it out of this store”……Well they left the store and I put my items on the counter. All of a sudden I feel someone close up on my back in my personal space. I am thinking to myself this must be someone I know. I turn around and nope it is NOT!  Apparently Elvira’s twin sister had made it into the store. I took a deep breath and took a step forward and paid for my things and left the store. I sat in my car and thought to myself this is going to be a long 4 years. Lord how am I going to manage having to find a Bails Bondman from now own. The feisty part of me was today was still surprisingly sleepy and numb.

I decided to head to my church and get a mission project done because I probably would need to stay inside the confines of my home for the rest of the week. I am just not ready to put an orange jumpsuit on. So I headed to the church. Grabbed a key from the office and headed to the sanctuary to get my mission bags done. I was glad to be in the sanctuary for a few moments no radio playing and no tv on. I was just going to get my work done.  I kept being drawn to our church altar. I remember saying out loud “ nope I am not worthy today to come near the throne.”  I tried to focus on getting things done. I started singing out loud but I couldn’t remember the words to any of my beloved songs. I was simply too mentally and physically and spiritually gone.

A few minutes passed and I was again somewhat beckoned to the throne.

I finally gave in and went over to the front pew and sat down for a moment. I stared up at the cross and waited for God. I know I sat there 10 minutes and simply couldn’t hear a sound. All of a sudden the tears began to fall and sobs from deep within find themselves suddenly on their way out. Years of frustration and anxiety found their way out. After a few minutes  I realized I had no words for God and evidently He had none. After a while something said  “look up”……. when I looked up my face was directly in line with the altar table. “ Remembrance of Me” (This picture posted depicts what I found). I was simply stunned. I dried my tears and took some breaths and stood up. I placed my hand on the church bible and declared out loud “ Ok Big Guy I am going to trust you on this one. I hope and pray You don’t let me down.  I have never been in this dark place before and I don’t think I am wired to take anymore”………….

throne

On the drive home I decided that perhaps just perhaps I may very well not be “Christian” I simply do not share the same views with some of them. Compassion is in my personal opinion the most compelling thing about the story of Jesus Christ. I managed to find that personality trait in all the Biblical Chapters about Him. I believe with all my heart gender equality, racial equality and religious equality are far more important than economy, foreign policy, healthcare and taxes. For me how I have shown love and compassion for fellow man and woman is what I am most concerned with when it’s time for me to face God……. I am Remembering God in ALL things and honestly praying others will do the same. Tomorrow is coming and I am no longer numb so all the racial tension and hatred better soon be long gone because…… in the future it will not be ignored. I am sure in the days ahead I will be spending lots of time on my knees at God’s Throne. I and those I love now find ourselves wishing for a more peaceful time that is now long gone. I am truly heartbroken that some people I know sadly turned their faces from the blatant discrimination and still made their choices.  For some others now I  look back and realize they actually are part of the crowd that secretly and in their private groups  cheered for it.  Today I saw some of my friends and associates in a way I never had seen them before.  Sadly I just can’t seem to accept the excuses for justifying doing something like this.  For the next four years I will daily and desperately be  REMEMBERING HIM!  What A Day!

Blessings Upon Blessings

Ouch That Hurt

What’s In Your Silo?

silo

Earlier this week I was traveling in the car with my husband. Just as we were coming towards the railroad tracks the arms suddenly came down. Much to my hubby’s dissatisfaction a very slow moving train was about to come through town. I mean it was just sputtering along. I sat there amused at how the typical Mr. Cool’s blood pressure was quickly headed for a climb.

I turned to gaze out my passenger window and I noticed the concrete silos that sat across the field right before the entrance to our small rural town. I remember thinking to myself “man that thing has been here for such a long time.” I began to try and remember a time that it wasn’t present in our town. I quickly realized that it had been here in this exact place since I was a child.

I began to appreciate it’s durability and it’s enormous size. I began to imagine what could it possibly be holding on it’s inside. I had to giggle a little because I recalled one day driving by the town silo with my kids. I remembered pausing for the train and listening to my teenage sons giggling about a childhood lie. My oldest son had told his younger siblings years ago that giant chocolate swiss rolls were stored inside. Oh the joys of childhood imaginations when going on country road rides.

I quickly came back to reality and realized the train was indeed slow and traffic was building quickly behind. For some reason I felt drawn back to the vision that lay to my right. The huge silos off to my side. For some reason on this particular day those silos seem to glisten and seemed so very bright. Those silos had been on earth as long as I had. I began to think about my soul and I imagined it as a silo. I began to think “oh through the years what on earth had I stored inside”. Joys, pains, frustrations, anger, disappointments, judgements, love, fragments of scripture and most importantly a belief in God. I quickly thought to myself “Oh Dear Lord what is possibly buried that I might not remember that I perhaps had chosen to hide.” I just sat in the stopped car staring across the field beginning to truly search what I may have inside.

Finally the train ended and we proceeded on our ride. As we drove down the rural winding roads the picture of the silo was still on my mind. I started to think of all the times I held things in my heart that probably were not pleasing to God. I started to think of the good things that were growing inside. Patience rather than sudden rage. Compassion for those mistreated because of their gender and race. Sudden calls to action when no one would take on a troubling situation. I begin to truly search my soul. I decide I would take some time to biblically search for some justification for some of the beliefs stored deep within my soul. So for the last few nights I have gone to bed earlier and taken the time to open my bible and ponder a few beliefs  that I held in my soul.

Well today I knew I had a meeting and knew several things would be discussed so I took a moment to consult with God. I said a quick prayer before entering the building and asked God to come in with me and for Him to help me maintain control. Well halfway through my meeting documents were handed out and low and behold it was the exact things I had be praying about all week long. As I read through the documents I became nauseated and my head began to swoon. A productive and lively conversation soon ensued. I tried desperately to control my tongue and control my eyes from performing their traditional roll. I listened and I prayed. I listened and I prayed. I asked a few questions for clarity and I finally let God take hold. I finished my meeting and people quickly disbursed and I gathered my notebook and boldly stepped forward. I spoke to the wonderful person in charge and I told her my dilemma. She listened passionately and took my hands. She understood and respected my position and she told me her own dilemma in this particular situation. I explained to her that my  God’s Silo was too big for my head and heart to comprehend. I told her that I had been lead to Romans 2:1 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”( NIV ) I could not in good faith sign on for this journey because I needed to stay off of judgement lane and tend to my own Silo. After a couple of hugs and a few tears I was on my way. My heart seemed so much lighter in the end. I made sure to drive home right past the old silos and I thanked them for the precious gift of bringing me back to a spirit of discernment.  I ask you today my friends to take a moment when you get a chance……..take a deep long look into your own Silo because I think you will be surprised all that you are carrying around and what you can learn from it. If I am truly trying to help someone in need  judging them should be my last concern.

Blessings Upon Blessings