My Son Is Out Driving Lord Don’t Let Them Kill Him!!


My husband always jokes with mimg_20151016_110335547-1e that He is “Every Mother’s Dream.”  He struts around like a peacock and tells me as a wife I am so very lucky. I quickly roll my eyes and attempt to ignore him as I mutter. He is in fact the ideal guy that a mother desires for her daughter. He is kind and considerate, attentive and very loving. Though I would never admit it he was that” perfect apple” in the eyes of my dearly departed Mother.

I am the Mother of 2 African American sons. I have from the beginning attempted to mold them and shape them into wonderful husbands. Teaching them about compassion, integrity and to be loving. I have taught them to respect every woman. Treat every woman you meet the way you would treat your Mother. I have taught them to manage money. I have insisted they excel in school and achieve a college education. I have taught them how to wash their clothes and how to clean their toilets. I have taught them to cook eggs and boil water. I have taught them to always be neat, brush their teeth and to never let me fall in the toilet. I have constantly showed them what to look for in woman. I have taught them to pray and to thank God often. I have taught them to tolerate and have patience with their younger sister. Explaining that she is the best ” hands on” training of how to deal with the emotions of a woman. I have taught them to always pay attention to those that are sad, different or sitting at a table alone in the cafeteria. I have taught my sons to love and respect everybody. I have been diligent in teaching them to see beyond a person’s skin color. My husband and I have actually managed to get our oldest son through college. Our second son just began his senior year of college.

Yet the most horrifying thing that I have dealt with as a Mother is to show my sons how to conduct themselves while driving. Son don’t wear that hoodie. Son don’t wear that baseball cap. Son make sure you have your wallet. Son take my car when going into the city. Son don’t let multiple friends ride in your car. Son take your braids down before going out. Son take my car because your best friend’s windows are tinted. Son if a police stops you put your hands on the steering wheels. Son if an officer stops you while driving don’t ask them any questions. Take the citation and we will deal with it later. Son when driving around late make sure you take one of the cars with the University stickers. That way when you are driving around town they will know you are a student. Son when you are going into the upscale malls make sure you use your debit card for everything. Just in case they accuse you of stealing. Debit card transactions are easier to prove than cash purchases. Sons don’t get earrings or tattoos I don’t want the world stereotyping.

Sadly every time my sons leave my house I find myself  shouting  “ Son be safe, Son please be careful”. Every time my sons venture outside of my town I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed or kneeling on my bathroom floor pleading with God crying and praying “ Lord please don’t let my sons be killed. Father God you know they are out there driving.”

Their  lives may not matter to the majority of America. But I will tell you this ……… me Their Lives and the Lives of  All  Unarmed Children Matter.

It is a travesty that people continue to justify killing unarmed black men simply for driving in this country. Our fear is real and justified. I guess you would have to have enough Christian Compassion to have the Audacity to see life through the eyes of a Black Mother. I was so busy trying to teach them to grow up to be Great Men like their FATHER!! Focusing on making them “The Apples of The Eye” of other Mothers praying for good men for their “Precious Daughters”. I have been unable to guarantee them safety while driving in America. Thank God that the Officers they have encountered  thus far were raised to be Compassionate and Respectful to Others. My prayers are not only for my children but also for your children  to always be safe while driving unarmed in The United States of America.

Blessings Upon Blessings


4 thoughts on “My Son Is Out Driving Lord Don’t Let Them Kill Him!!”

  1. WOW! You said it best! I have done all of the above with my son but I’m afraid to start the teaching how to drive process. I’m not ready!

  2. Love and prayers for you, your family, and for all mothers who have sons driving anywhere. God, please have mercy on all of us who pray for a better America.

  3. So true Connie, I raised my sons to be productive citizens that know how
    live in a world that is unpredictable every day. I taught them to survive when I am no longer. But never thought I would have to teach them how to survive a traffic stop or encounter with any law enforcement because of the color of their skin.

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